RABBI DAVID J MEYER
CONSECRATION OF MARRIAGE CEREMONY FOR
LOIS LEVIN & HELEN RITTENBERG
September 12, 2004
26 Elul 5764
[HEBREW BLESSINGS, followed by English translations]
Lois and Helen,
In these among all things may you be blessed:
In loving each other;
In appreciating how you are alike;
In treasuring how you are different;
In sharing your lives together;
In peace and serenity in your home;
In the fulfillment of living and growing and achieving together;
In the warmth and companionship of family and friends,
And in realizing your fondest hopes.
In the beautiful book of the Bible, the Song of Songs, we find the beautiful words: Kumi lach, rayati, yafati u-l’chi lach. “Arise my love, my fair one, and come away, for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone, the flowers appear on the earth, the voice of the turtle dove is heard in the land, and the time for our rejoicing has come.”
Lois and Helen, these Biblical words are especially fitting for you on this beautiful late summer afternoon, filled with joy and blessing. We come together now with family and dear friends to celebrate your discovery of each other, and to record in all of our minds and in all of our hearts the ripe event of your love that has continued to blossom. The modern philosopher, Martin Buber, used to teach that by your love for one another you have brought God and the world together. And this is true, because love is an act of creation; a direct sharing with an experience of ultimate meaning we call by the name of “God”. When love lives, as it does here today, it reflects the deepest and most tender secrets of the universe.
Can you believe we’re finally here? This is the moment we’ve anticipated together for just the past several months, but it is a day you have hoped to celebrate for so many years. During these past few months, it has been a very special joy for me to get to know you both as we planned for this sacred and joyous celebration, and to come to understand the depth of affection that so many here today feel for you, and who, for so many years, have been important parts of your lives as individuals and as a couple.
In Jewish life, there is not such a thing as a private simcha, for all of our joyous events are intended to be shared within the broader circles of friends and community. And certainly, we know that the spirit of so many dear ones is what truly infuses this occasion with the depth of meaning, even beyond the somewhat “historic” aspect of your marriage, which has now been recognized by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
You both bring to your marriage and to each other precious qualities of caring, integrity, strength and insight. You both understand and typify the importance of family, having come from close and fine family roots. I know that you care deeply about the needs of the community and the world around you, and we spoke particularly of your commitment in the area of conservation and ecology. And together you enjoy so many different pleasures – from hiking and kayaking, gardening, attending concerts and the theatre together, and spending time entertaining with your friends. I think everyone who knows you would agree that whatever you undertake, you do so with passion and intensity, and you likewise are never shy about sharing your insights and ideas with others whom you care about. Even Niki – whom you warned me about…
As I considered what special thoughts from our Jewish tradition I might share with you at this sacred and joyful moment, I recalled our discussing at some length the significance and history of the rituals we are about to share. We spoke for some time about how to take the traditional aspects of the Jewish wedding ceremony and utilize them both creatively and authentically to provide the substance of this hour.
Among other things, we talked about your chuppah, which was made by your sister, Sally. According to Jewish tradition, the canopy under which the wedded couple stands may be made of practically any sort of material. However, Jewish tradition requires that it must be open on all four sides. The message that I would relate to you today is that what happens inside our homes is reflected in the outside world, The home and family you have created, and will continue to evolve, indeed, become a model of harmony, commitment, compassion and peace for the world around you. You already know that to be true, for you are, in many ways, role models for others. And I think you will continue to be amazed at the power with which the qualities of your home and marriage can and do affect those around you. For it is true: if we can create harmony, understanding, peace and love in our homes, then we can do so in the world at large. That powerful truth we affirm on this, your wedding day, for even as we celebrate your love, we see in the promise of your wedding the promise of a brighter future.
And so, in standing beneath this chuppah you acknowledge and accept the powerful responsibility to remain fully alive – to and for each other, to continue growing and evolving as individuals and as a couple; to remain warm, sensitive and pliable. Over the years to come you will see the meaning of your lives deepen through an ever-changing prism of your love, and you will thereby nurture one another to fullness and confidence, wholeness and freedom. In so doing, may our community and the world around us likewise come to reflect those ideals, so that the vision of perfection we celebrate here today will be drawn one step closer to fulfillment!
It is in this spirit then that I ask you to once again affirm:
Do you, Lois take Helen to be your wedded partner, promising to cherish and protect her, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and to seek together a life hallowed by the Jewish tradition?
Do you, Helen, take Lois to be your wedded partner, promising to cherish and protect her, whether in good fortune or adversity, and to seek together with her a life hallowed by the Jewish tradition?
***
In keeping with the declaration you have made, you give and you receive these rings. They are a token of your union, a symbol of enduring loyalty. May they ever remind you that your lives are to be bound together by devotion and faithfulness.
Each say to the other: Zeh dodi v’zeh reyi. Ani l’dodi li
This is my beloved; this is my friend. I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.
[HEBREW TEXT followed by Lois and Helen’s words]
“On September 12, 2004, we, Helen Bernice Rittenberg and Lois Ann Levin, in the presence of loving family and friends, stand under the chuppah and enter into the covenant of marriage in the ceremonial tradition of our ancestors.
We have been loving friends for forty years, and in 1976 we made a commitment to become a family. We have created a joyous life together which honors the values of our parents – love, compassion and pursuit of knowledge. Our home has centered our lives, and it has been a source of great pleasure to open it to others.
We are grateful for each day we awaken to share together, especially at our stage of life, and today we reaffirm our deep mutual love and respect. We vow to continue, as long as we live, to seek to understand one another, to treat one another with patience and kindness, to support one another through losses and sorrows, and to ensure one another’s physical and emotional well-being.
Our marriage was legally solemnized by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts on May 20, 2004.”
Wine is a symbol of sacred joy… As we share this one cup with your attendants, we are symbolically including all of those here celebrating with you today – and those who couldn’t be here as well – all of you who have been important parts of your lives until now, and who have helped make you into the individuals you already have become. As we drink from this cup, we also include in our joy, and recall your parents, Sid and Peachy, Ed and Bertha, whose presence at this sacred moment is more vital to us than their absence.
We are grateful to You, Source of all Creation, for the loving care and teaching
of our parents, for the ties of heart and mind and memory which link families
together, and for enriching friendships which fill our cup of joy to
overflowing.
[HEBREW BLESSINGS, followed by translation:]
Praised are you, our Eternal, Ruler of the Universe, who creates as a symbol of our joy, this fruit of the vine.
We praise You, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who has given us life, sustained us, and brought us to this joyous time.
[Explain BREAKING OF GLASS & YICHUD, PRIESTLY BLESSING,]
BREAK GLASS TOGETHER